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June 8, 2017: Bernie Sanders Is Discovered To Have Been Elected President Last November

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In an unprecedented event, two legendary newsmen rose up out of their graves to announce that former Senator Bernie Sanders (D Vermont) had been elected the 45th president of the United States seven months earlier in November 2016.  Appearing together as a holograph on all television media outlets, Edward R. Murrow and Walter Cronkite, both formerly of CBS News, explained to a surprised and confused nation that Sanders and his running mate, former Senator Sherrod Brown (D Ohio), had defeated Governor John Kasich (R Ohio) and Senator Marco Rubio (R Florida) in a landslide, winning the electoral college by a vote of 366 to 172.

"We had been following the election in The Heaven Daily, from Mr. Sanders' defeat of Hillary Clinton in the primaries through the election and inauguration," said Cronkite, "and were delighted by the outcome." Murrow added, "Yes, Walt, and even happier when in his first six months President Sanders passed legislation ending corporate tax loopholes and federal subsidies, raised the minimum wage to a living wage, got a Veterans Jobs Bill through a Republican filibuster in the Senate, and developed a strong initiative to convert the nation to renewable energy resources." But then one day, Murrow and Cronkite were watching American television and realized that none of the media had reported the results of the election.  "It was shocking, to say the least," said Cronkite. "No one in the media had noticed that Mr. Sanders had won and was now the President of the United States." The two famous newsmen didn't know what to make of this strange turn of events.  How could the American media have missed the results of an American presidential election?


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